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C+R's Urban Dictionary: COVID-19 Edition

Mary McIlrath, Senior Vice President

Most of the news this spring has been very serious. Like crocuses and tulips, we’ve seen a few tongue-in-cheek terms break through the “soil” of the news cycle (and we may have made up several). You may want to start using them on your “BS Bingo” play-at-home games, or just introduce them to your colleagues.

Here are our Top Ten:

  1. BV vs. PV: Months and generations from now, historians will refer to “before virus” and “post virus” to study the mass freak-outs, toilet paper hoarding, and other novel behaviors spurred by this pandemic. There will probably be a museum displaying exhibits of Brontosauruses price-gouging the T-Rexes for Cottonelle. Well played, plant-eaters.
  2. SIP: The “normies” may think this acronym stands for Shelter in Place or Stay in Place. We know it really means “Sip [wine] in Place” or “Slug [wine] in Place”. Adults only, please.
  3. Quarantine Ice Cream: The “good” pints spouses and parents buy and hide from other family members behind the expired fish sticks and frozen mixed vegetables. Generally eaten in the wee hours when others are sleeping or smuggled into the bathroom while children are on recess from e-learning as parents also take a break from working at home.
  4. Social Distancing: Also known as “Introverts Inheriting the Earth.” Six feet, people! No chit chat! Answering Skype, Zoom, and FaceTime calls optional.
  5. WYH (Wash Your Hands): What monsters weren’t already washing their hands adequately?!? Is that how you were raised?!? You need less “Happy Birthday” and more kick in the pants!
  6. QuarantunesQuarantunes: The playlists of the perennially cheerful, or morbidly humorous, while isolated. Rita Wilson coined the term—and since she’s married to America’s Dad, we can’t argue. Here’s her original set.
  7. Home Airport: The time-knows-no-bounds area (likely the pantry) where you lose track of time zones and days of the week, snacking incessantly but never eating a meal, then wander over to the front window and gaze out waiting for something to happen. Snap out of it!
  8. Six Feeted-ness: The desperation, and for some, skill in maintaining safe “droplet-free” zones from others. Often includes two corgi-lengths or just running across the street screaming in terror when another citizen appears on the street.
  9. Where-housing: Derived from the high-pitched whine, “Where is my monthly box from my stylist?!?” Some product distributors have *gasp* declared designer goods like Louis Vuitton and Chanel to be non-essential. They’ve suspended subscription services to make room in the supply chain for household cleaning products. Oh, the humanity!
  10. Zoom Party: Gen Xers, this one is for you! Remember the ‘70s kids show? Ah, memory lane. It’s a little different now—this time, your coworkers get to see your poorly lit, unshaven, roots-undyed head on their screen while you have Happy Hour to wrap up the most recent week of working together, separately. Cheers—but seriously, please shave.

As always, C+R is here to help you connect with your shoppers and consumers and maintain a sense of humor as we all move forward together. Bingo!
 

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